


Duress

by i_heart_danchou



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-02 12:43:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19199068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_heart_danchou/pseuds/i_heart_danchou
Summary: Never let a man have so much power over you that he can make you say something you don't want to say.





	Duress

**Author's Note:**

> This was written because I couldn't deal with how pained Levi looked when he told Erwin to go die.

The scream cut through the heavy air of the room and left Levi’s ears ringing.  Some high level drug dealer, apparently had a pretty nice stash hidden somewhere.  Levi had helped tie him to the splintered wooden chair, and he watched with cold eyes as Kenny did his work.  

“Please!  Please fucking stop!”  

Kenny just laughed though, and lined up his pliers on the man’s next fingernail.  “I’m going to teach you an important lesson, Levi.  Under duress, you can make a man say fucking anything you want.”  He gripped the pliers down and pulled, leaving a jagged mess of solid keratin and flesh in his wake.  The scream was piercing, but the way the man convulsed and wept and tried to cradle his hand to his chest would be what stayed in Levi’s mind.

“Say you’re a dog.”  Kenny smirked.  “Bark for me.”

The man was incredulous, but his eyes went wide as those pliers came up to his hand again.  “I’m a dog!  Woof!  I’m a fucking miserable dog!”  He had tears running down his face, he was trying to get away even now.  

“Good boy.”  Kenny patted him on the head.  “Now tell me where the money is.  If you fuckin’ lie to me, I’ll take your balls.”  

The man gave them a location, and Kenny smiled, pulling his knife out.  “What a good, obedient doggy you are.  Now, you better not tell anyone what’s happened to you, yeah?”  He made a move as though he’d cut the ropes, but slinked behind their new friend and slit his throat in one swift motion.

“Pathetic.”  Kenny spat on the ground, wiping the man’s blood off on his shirt.  “Never be that man, Levi.  Never let yourself be put in a position where you’re forced to say something you don’t want to say.  There is strength in silence; never, ever let someone have enough power over you that they can make you bow, that they can make you bark like a fuckin’ dog for them.  Remember that, Levi.”

Levi said nothing and followed.  His shoes left little bloody footprints in their wake.  

**

Chaos and bits of splintered stone rained around them.  Brave men and women were screaming, panic was starting to take over, and all Levi could see was Erwin.  

His priority was simple: get Erwin home by any means necessary.  As long as Erwin survived, there was hope for humanity.  As long as Erwin survived this, it didn’t fucking matter what happened to Levi.  If he could hold the beast titan off a little longer, give Erwin a chance to get away, then his death wouldn’t have been in vain.

But… once more, Levi could see it in Erwin’s eyes.  The guilt, the desperation, the sadness that had been eating away at his heart and his mind since he’d come back one arm lighter.  His heart clenched as Erwin crumbled into himself… his posture curved and pained, his body hunched and small.  

Erwin sat down on a fucking crate and Levi found it revolting to be taller than his commander.  He watched the man he loved splinter under the dueling drives in his heart— to be the perfect golden hero… or to see his father’s dream come true.  In all their years together, Levi could count on one hand the number of times Erwin had seemed small.  The commander was normally so measured, so careful, so in control of everything… and now, as he was watching his dreams crumble around him, Erwin Smith was breaking.  

The weight of his dead comrades weighed so heavily, the fact that he had survived when he felt he didn’t deserve to… that his dream meant more to him than humanity did.  Levi didn’t care.  He was still fucking Erwin, and Levi still fucking loved him.  

He could see the war raging in Erwin’s mind— is it okay to give up on my dream?  To let my father down?  Would it be better if I just ran off like a coward and tried again another day? How can I… how can I keep living when the world sees me as a monster?

He had never seen Erwin be vulnerable in public like this.  Never seen him sink into himself, to make himself small, to seek absolution from Levi.  Erwin always knew what to fucking do, Erwin was always right about everything.  And yet…

Levi couldn’t look at the top of Erwin’s head any longer.  He sank to one knee and looked up at his commander.  Erwin couldn’t make this choice.  Erwin didn’t deserve to be forced to make this choice.  He’d given up so much, he’d lost so fucking much.  

“You have fought well.”

_I love you.  I love you and I don’t fucking want this._

“It’s only thanks to you we’ve come this far.”

_We need you.  If humanity loses you it’s all fucking over, please, please don’t do this._

“I will make the choice.”

_So you don’t have to.  So you don’t have to be a monster in your mind, so you don’t have to let your father down.  I’m used to playing the villain, I don’t care.  For you I’ll do it, for you I’ll rip my own fucking heart into pieces_ _._

“Give up on that dream and die,”

_I don’t want this.  I don’t want this.  I don’t want this.  I want you to live.  I need you to live._

“Lead those new recruits to hell,”

_But… you need this.  More than I need you, you need this.  I’d kill for you, Erwin.  I’d die for you.  If it brings you peace… if it’s what you need… then…_

“And I’ll take down the beast titan.”

_I’ll follow you after.  I promise, Erwin.  Wait for me._

His words were ashes in his mouth, and he wondered if he might be sick.  And yet… Erwin looked up at him, his face serene and calm like Levi hadn’t seen it in fucking months.  

That smile… that beautiful, perfect, fucking incredible smile…  FUCK!

They didn’t kiss, they didn’t hug, they just stood beside one another like they always did as they made the final briefing.  The shreds of Levi’s heart stood steady as he watched Erwin ride away for the last time.  

Levi had sentenced the love of his life to death, and his expression was pained as he set out to complete his greatest mission.  

_Forgive me…_

The rocks rained down on the commander, and Levi couldn’t watch him any longer.  He had a mission.  He had a fucking mission.  

He’d carry that smile in his mind for the rest of his life.  It would drive him forward, it would give him purpose.  

_I swore to him._


End file.
